Trial of Three Kicks

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A lawyer from the big city goes duck hunting out in the country one weekend. He is in luck and shoots a duck with his very first shot. The dead duck falls from the sky and lands in a farmer’s field. The lawyer goes out to get the duck and the old farmer drives his tractor over and picks up the dead bird.

“Hey!” shouts the lawyer, running over, “That’s my bird!”
“Pardon?” asks the farmer, “This duck landed in my field. Makes it mine.”
“My good sir,” says the lawyer, “Both the Code of Hamurabi and the rule in Penelope’s Case says that when the hunter wings a bird in flight, no matter where it lands, the fowl goes to the hunter.”
“Eh?” says the old farmer eyeing the lawyer suspiciously. Then he takes a sigh and smiles slightly. “You must be one of those Big City Lawyers.”
“I am,” says the lawyer proudly, “I am Graham Goodson of Goodson Schnocker and Bliss.”
“Oh, well Mr. Goodson, we have what we call a Trial of Three Kicks when decidin’ who , ‘round these parts.”
“I see, quaint local practices,” says the lawyer. “I’m game, what is a Trial of Three Kicks?”
“When two fellers disputin’ the propriety of a bird like this, the first feller kicks the other three times and then the second feller kicks the first three times and so on until one or the other gives up. As it’s undisputedly my land, I’d kick first.”
The lawyer looks over the farmer who appears in his eighties. He is thin as a twig and looked like a reasonable gust of wind might blow him over. The lawyer thinks he might want to go back to the car and get a waiver and consent form out of his briefcase, but in the end decides it isn’t worth the walk.
“Alright,” says the lawyer, “I accept.”
“Great!” says the farmer who immediately kicks the lawyer with the force of a lifetime of work right in the groin at which the lawyer doubles over. The farmer then kicks the lawyer in the gut with an equally powerful kick that sends the lawyer sprawling into the mud. With one more mighty whallop, the farmer kicks the lawyer in the teeth.
For several minutes the lawyer rolls on the ground, stunned by the ferocity of the three kicks. Ultimately, he his able to regain his composure and stagger to his feet.
“My… Turn…” the lawyer says haltingly.
The old farmer looks at the lawyer slyly.
“Aw, heck,” he says. “I gives up; you keep that bird.”


New video on Hearsay

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I’ve been working on a new video which I think is fun. It’s kind of a boring topic, but everyone screws it up so often that I thought something had to be done. This is the result.

Hello world! Pleased to Meet you…

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Glad to see that you stumbled across the newest addition to the blogosphere.  I hope to provide readers with legal information that is at the same time exciting, interesting and informative.

Some things you should know about me is that I am an attorney in Grand Junction, Colorado with a practice that mainly consists of criminal defense and immigration work.  I own my own practice:  Aaron Norris, LLC located in downtown Grand Junction, CO.

I am a graduate of the Sturm College of Law at the University of Denver and the University of Colorado at Boulder.